Thursday, March 08, 2012

Embracing It.

In just a few hours, we're going to do something that I'm so, so excited about.  It's something I've waited a long time to do.  

In a few hours, we'll be heading to the airport to welcome Caleb into his family for good.  And I can't wait to see that family all together.  Forever and ever.  And I'm sure I'll cry like a baby, because that's what Juli did at our homecoming :)  And I'm sure it will bring back all the emotions that we felt just a few months ago.  And I'm sure we'll get home way past bedtime.  But I just can't wait.  

Welcome home, Caleb.  Home for good.  Nothing better.  


My favorite part of the day has become the moments after nap, when Carter is just brushing away the last bits of sleepiness, and he becomes himself.'s funny, because a month ago, I wouldn't have known who 'himself' is.  But Carter has developed a true personality, completely his own.  It's really inexplainable.  Watching him go from a slightly unsure, quiet little boy to the blossoming, chatty, opinionated boy that is now running down the hall has been wild.  It really has been like peeling back the layers of an onion.  The hurt, the abandonment, the orphanage grime - it was all hiding this sweet little boy.  

I'm so glad he's him.  I'm so glad he's ours.  I'm just so glad.


This morning, Carter had an entire water park to himself.  Well - it was the ymca - and it was mostly to himself.  But regardless, he owned the place.

It took him a while to figure out that thing we kept calling the 'deep end'.  Until he got a face full of water, and then he got it.

Definitely looking into a pool pass for the summer...!


Since bringing Carter home, I've turned into a true mommy.  I love everything about being a mommy, except one thing.

Living in frumpville.

I struggle with this almost daily.  The balance between 'getting ready for the day' (which in my opinion, is vital for avoiding long term psychiatric care), and being uncomfortable all day just so I can say I wore real clothes.  I mean, really - does it matter that my shirt doesn't match my sweatpants (yes, I said sweatpants), or that after I showered I did absolutely nothing with my hair (...and by the time I see Jake's car pull up I rush to the bathroom to try to avoid looking like Frankensteins wife...)?

I rarely wear jeans or put on makeup unless I know I'm leaving the house for the day.  Is this normal?!

Everyone has 'that mommy' in their circle who is always put together - always looks fabulous - always has their sparkling personality in tow....well, that mommy is not me.  Anyhow - 'that mommy' happened to be outside when I drove by her house the other day.  As I saw her from a distance,  I secretly thought "HA!  I've got her!  I'm about to see her looking disheveled and frumpy, just like I do at home!  Finally!".

Well.  It didn't really happen like that.

She looked fabulous.  Adorable outfit.  Hair done.  She was wearing earrings, for cryin' out loud!  What mommy wears hoop earrings at home?!

If she wasn't so completely sweet and lovable, I might have tried to run her over with my car.

Okay, I would never do that.

But I did feel a tad bit jealous.  That's a feeling I really, really hate.  And suddenly, I was not only thinking about how cute she is, but how cute her house is, and how nice their vehicles are, and how pleasant her family is.....

Before you know it, I was seriously feelin' it.  The little bit of jealousy had turned to complete dissatisfaction with my own life.  See how that seed grew into a big old nasty weed?  Thankfully, in this area, I am a green thumb - and I was able to pull that weed out by the root before it took over the entire garden (although....I'm sure her garden is prettier than mine...okay, kidding).

So, the next time I'm feeling the need to wear the sweatpants without the holes in them, because I want to be more like 'that mommy', I'm tossing that seed to the wind.  And I'm embracing the hoodies.  And the mismatched socks (yes, I said mismatched socks).

Because it's about being all that I can be for little boy, and getting on the floor (comfortably!!), and being mommy.  And I'm not 'that mommy'.  And that's okay.  Because I'm his mommy.

*Disclaimer:  I have never, ever, ever gone out in public looking like Frankensteins wife, wearing holey sweatpants or mismatched socks.  I will never be that mom at Target that somehow left the house with her rubber ducky pajama pants on.  If that mom is you - I'm sorry.  I won't judge.  I'm sure it was just a really, really bad day.  But apparently you aren't 'that mommy' either.  And that's okay, honey.  Embrace it.

This is my favorite post from the week, so I'm linking up!  Join's fun!

friday favorite things | finding joy

One Thing I Know For Sure: Embracing the holey sweatpants, as I type this.  Because it's okay.


  1. Ha too funny! I am "that mom" who wears her slippers to the store or to pick up Katie at preschool....yep I know that drives people crazy but really when I am already running late, well that it what you get! Thank goodness that our hubby's adore us :-)

  2. Just wait until #2 comes along. It' gets better... or worse... whatever. I had the advantage of never being a fashionista beforehand so it wasn't a big fall for me. Maybe once we get #3 home it'll start to improve. Nah, I doubt it.

  3. I have so many thoughts about this post! LOVE that you're seeing a new personality in that sweet little boy of yours. Your heart will be filled up every time you notice a new step, new confidence, new changes, and on and on. Such a gift is parenthood. I'm so happy for Juli! I followed her blog some, and have fallen in love with the kids. (oh no) Caleb reminds me of Aidan. I completely laughed out loud this morning with the rest of your post on frumpville! Too hilarious. But I getcha, and I get the jealousy thing too. Serious weeding is good, but sometimes easier said then done. Being "his mommy" is darn good advice. Thanks for the laughs this morning!

  4. ashley I love reading about little carter and how wonderful he is doing. This post was too funny and totally hit home. WHen I had my oldest daughter I was the same way. I struggled to even get my teeth brushed before noon and was waiting by the door like a puppy in the afternoon to greet my husband for adult interaction....of course I would always try to hurry and grab a something decent(not the clothes I had slept in and was still wearing since I woke up)before he came it. It doesnt matter what we wear or look like its all about the time and love we share with our children.
    Have a fantastic time greeting caleb and his family home

  5. I stopped using heals after Elias was born (7 yrs ago) with the excuse that I was a mommy who wanted to be comfy, who wanted to be in the floor. Here in Mexico you go to therapies with your kid to a school, so every day 3 hrs per day I was there in the gym with my baby, yes in pants.

    I never was very fashion, but after Elias i guess i got worst. truly i forget very often to brush my hair, and yes i dont care. my husband doest care and my kids doesnt care. im a good mommy, and i always think how they {the fashion always good looking mommys} do it. i also have a friend who always is dressed well, as she was going to be out, but she is cleaning or cooking with heals. sigh. i cannot be that mommy, my feet hurts.

    anyway, after Eva came home (6 months ago) it got worst, not in my personal care but in my house care, yes, i cant have the house clean as i want since i have one toddler and one in 1st grade. yes, fun. so i have learned to embrace dirty plates, and left food over the oven.

    i really dont know how they do it. really. sigh.

  6. I totally get this. I used to wear scarves. And earrings. And necklaces. Every. Day. While I usually wear jeans, I have gotten into the bad habit of only showering every 3-4 days. I never do my hair. HA! Oh well, This Too Shall Pass :)

  7. This was an awesome post. So true and inspiring -- I've had those moments too of comparison and such. And, lol, in my world whenever I think I'll "just sneak out in whatever and with my sloppy pony-tail" that's when I run into someone at the store or coffee shop.
    Thanks for linking. Always blessed to read your words.

  8. You are the cutest mommy ever...even in sweats,no make and hair up!


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