Welcome to the world, Silas Jacob. You are twelve days old today, and it seems like I've known you forever.
This is how your story begins.
You happened quickly - we were pregnant with you within days of deciding that we wanted another baby. The emotions were intense.
Wait, we're pregnant?
Yes! We're pregnant!
Due two days before Macy's second birthday. When I dreamt about being a mom (it's all I ever wanted) I dreamt about my kids being exactly two years apart.
We found out you were a boy on a Thursday afternoon. Brenna, the midwife, called with the test results. We were all in our bedroom - Carter and Macy laying on the bed, Dad just getting home from work, and me - putting the call on speaker so everyone could hear. And you. You were there, too.
"Are you ready? Are you sitting down? It's a......BOY!!!"
Celebration and cheering ensued. Dad cried a little, I think.
I did, too. When I dreamt about being a mom, I dreamt about having two boys and a girl.
The next several months were filled with snuggling a one year old, buying a minivan, packing school lunches, a growing belly, finishing our basement, reading books in laps, gestational diabetes (bummer - but really not so bad!), countless loads of laundry - countless family meals - countless walks to the lake - countless bedtime stories.
But you already know all of this, because you were there.
The day before your due date, I felt amazing. I had more energy than I did in weeks. Both Carter and Macy were more needy and clingy than ever, that evening. I wondered if something was about to happen.
Daddy and I went to bed - I was sleeping soundly by 9 - he fell asleep around 10.
At 10:20pm, my water broke.
At 11:20pm, we were at the hospital.
At 12:20am, I started my first round of antibiotics (because I was GBS+). I was 5 cm dilated.
At 1:00am, the contractions were becoming too intense, and I asked for a little nubain (which allows for rest between contractions, and takes the edge off a bit).
At 3:20am, I thought the nubain must have been wearing off because everything was so intense again. The nurse checked me...and told me I was only at 6 or 7 cm dilated. To say I was disappointed would be an understatement. They gave me a little more nubain.
At 3:40, I told the nurse I felt a little 'pushy'. "NO! It's too early." The midwife, Loree, was called in, I think. And by the time she was at the door, I was pushing. She walked in and said "Ashley, you're the expert. Your body knows what to do. Do it."
At 3:50, you took your very first breath. Dad and I fell in love. The world is forever changed.
Silas Jacob - 7lbs 2oz - 18.5 inches long. Born on your due date, just like your sister. Five intense hours of labor, two intense pushes, and here you were - big dark eyes looking into mine.
Suddenly, the last 9 months are all a blur. How did we get here? Three precious kids - a daughter and two sons.
This is our life.
Later that afternoon, we had some really special visitors.
For fun, you can go back and look at Macy's birth story - you'll see the same giraffe. And the same big brother. He'll always be there, looking over you (even when it doesn't seem like it).
Some people won't understand him (or his giraffe) - and that's okay. We understand him - and he'll understand you, more than you know. You're brothers, and brothers are special.
Oh, and sisters. Sisters are special, too. Just in a different way. YOUR sister adored you from the minute she looked at you. She had a nickname for you after 2 minutes of knowing you.
"Come here, Tiny!"
I can't help but think you're the luckiest baby ever.
We came home on a Thursday. We said goodbye to NaNa, who was here with Macy, and put Macy down for her nap.
And then we looked at each other. We have three kids. Each one of them perfectly unique.
I can't promise we'll always get it right. I can't even promise we'll mostly get it right.
I can promise that we'll ask for grace every single day. We need God's Wisdom in how to best love you, uniquely.
But, you know all about that, too.
Grace - Wisdom - Love - Uniqueness...all very familiar principles for your fresh little brain.
You get to decide, sweet boy. You hold the pen. We'll help to strengthen and guide your hand as you eventually pick it up and write - but this story is all yours.
We owe you, Silas. We'll spend every day loving you the best we can.
One Thing I Know For Sure: We can't wait to discover who you are.