Wednesday, December 07, 2011



It's weird.  After 3 weeks + 1 day home, I can say that it's not at all what I expected.  It's not harder or easier than I thought - just...different.  It requires us to be intentional.  It requires us to be 'present', and pay attention to Carter's needs...literally every waking moment.

Exhausting - yes.  But I know it will be so, so worth it.

Do I think he has attached to us yet?  Well, no.  Not quite.

We are most definitely attached to him - we love him to pieces.  But that doesn't mean that he's attached to us.  He likes us, I think.  And he may be starting to feel love for us.  But is he attached?  No.  It's a long, strange journey - this attachment stuff.

I will say that knows his home.  He knows that when we walk in these doors, he can relax and be himself.   He knows he is safe.  I think that shows we're moving in the right direction.

But are we there yet?  Heck, no.

And that's okay :)

Something we have to keep in mind is that while we are trying to cuddle-snuggle-make eye contact...our three and a half year old boy is, by nature, desperately trying to gain his own independence.

I will say that one thing that has made this attachment a little easier for us than it has been for other families is the fact that Carter often does like to cuddle.  He comes to us for snuggles and loves.  It makes the bonding so much easier.  I can't imagine trying to bond with a child who is on the go 100% of the time.  It's nothing we're doing - it's just part of his personality.  Thank GOD!

It's a strange, long, winding journey - for sure.  And at the same time, it's a really beautiful thing.

Like I's just, different.  And we're enjoying every minute.

One Thing I Know For Sure: We'll get there.  But in the meantime - we're just relishing in every moment.


  1. The pictures are darling. Such a cutie:) It's nice to hear you so realistic about the attachment part. I think in a few months you'll have a better feel for where Carter's at. What a blessing that he likes to snuggle. He's been snuggled as an infant, no doubt, what a blessing that is also. When Aidan cried and resisted going to other people I had a feeling we had attachment. But with Carter's age I don't know? Hopefully you have some resources that help give you an idea.

  2. Thank you so much for the update :) Carter is looking so good. So happy that things are going well, even if they are a bit different. With him being suck a little lover I am sure that after a while he will form a very strong attachment to both of you. *hugs to all of you*

  3. oh darn... I hate typos... I was trying to say that with him being such a little lover (wanting hugs and snuggles and cuddles) I am sure that after a while he will form a very strong attachment to both of you.


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