Friday, October 07, 2011

A 'Desired Child'

Today, we met our boy.

It went exactly as it has in our dreams.

No - better.

When we arrived, we waited in the van with Niko for the social worker and Yulia to arrive.  He told us how beautiful this orphanage was, and he said "roll down your window - do you notice something?  No car smoke!".  It's true - the air is clean here, just a few miles from the city.  And this orphanage feels just like the woods of Wisconsin.  Birch - Oak - Maple.

We went in to the orphanage, and waited on a couch.  Yulia finally told us we could enter, and we met the director, who is also a doctor.  He seemed like a very kind man.  He obviously cares about these children.  We also met who I would guess to be the 'head nanny' - she also seemed very kind, and she gave Jake a wink that made us both think of his Grandma Rosie.  She even has Grandma Rosie's 'coffee lips'.

The doctor started telling us about him.  His name - Antony.  He was the first pregnancy and delivery for this couple.  She delivered him at 36 weeks in a c-section.  Because he was so big.  Ha.  And as you'll see in the photos (if you haven't already scrolled down...!) - he IS a big boy :)

Then the doctor said something that touched me deep.

He was a 'desired child'.

His parents wanted him.  They looked forward to his birth.  They waited with great anticipation for his delivery.

He was born May 30, 2008 - he weighed about 6 lbs, and was about 19 inches long.  They were almost certain he had Down syndrome.  But do you know what they did?  This shocked me.

They took him home.  They loved him.  They cared for him.  The doctor said he was nursed by his mother until he came to the orphanage on September 16, 2008.

What a traumatic day that must have been for him.  What loss and feeling of abandonment he must have felt.  What deep wounds he must carry.

Other than his Down syndrome, the doctor said he was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism - but it has since 'left him'.  They also said he had a hole in his heart, which has closed on it's own, which is common.  He had bronchitis in January.

They explained to us that his parents used to visit him.  They brought gifts for him.  They really, truly loved their child.  Because of the c-section, Carter's birth mother was no longer able to have children.  So they decided to adopt.

Once they adopted another child, they stopped visiting.

They said that his parents would be thrilled to know that he would be adopted internationally.  We're wondering if there's a chance we may meet them.

They told us that he loves to eat.  He eats everything :)  They also said he loves to 'feed his toys' - which is exactly what he was doing with the baby doll in the photo from this post.

He's walking okay with assistance.  They said he could walk alone if he chose to - but that he's not yet confident enough to do so.  This does not bother me one bit - there is a part of me that was hoping he wouldn't quite be walking yet.  It will be something we can experience together, as a family.

He's very calm, affectionate, and quiet.  They tell us he is never 'harsh' or 'violent'.

Many of our friends and family know that we had a specific prayer before we came here.  We've been praying it for months.

"Lord - introduce us to Carter supernaturally.  Help him to KNOW us!"

Did Carter know us?  I don't know.  We'll never really know.  But I do know that I got down on the floor, and he wrapped his little arms around my neck.  I cried.  He cried.  No noise from him - just one tear.  Maybe for the loss he's suffered.  Maybe for the love he felt in that moment.  Maybe it was allergies :)  We'll never really know for sure. But I feel that God answered our humble prayer today.

I believe that Carter knew us.

Now - if you've read along this far without looking at the photos first, you get a gold star :)  I know the photos are what you're all here for!

It's my ugly cry.  Sorry.
I think he looks so scared - so unsure - so skeptical.

We were so blessed by the staff.  They said "if you want - you take him outside for some time."

WHAT?!  I didn't know that would be an option.


In other news...we're not moving today.  Maybe tomorrow :)  Niko says he found us a better apartment, with 2 bedrooms!  And it's very close to TGI Friday's!  Hoping it's as nice as this one...!

One Thing I Know For Sure: Love at first sight...!


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. AWW he's so precious!!!!!!! ♥♥ Can't wait to meet him!! Definitely worth the long wait! ;) Love you all!

  3. Sweet boy!! And no I don't get a Gold Star!

  4. tears of joy!! Tears of thanksgiving..are flowing down this grandma's cheeks!!!

  5. you made me tear this morning, what a blessing must have been experiencing the love of his birth family, and at the same time what a sad loss must have been for both parts, sigh, it would be awesome if you could meet them and at least let them know he will be loved, cared etc

    he is a sweet boy, and so so cute!!!! congrats :)

  6. FINALLY!!!! Oh and in all the months I have NEVER been able to get in your blog at I click and AMEN there it is. Oh God knew I needed this!!! Beautiful Ash I am over the moon excited for you. Seeing you hold him is amazing and knowing he held on tight is breathless. I hope you are able to meet his parents not only for you and Carter but for them to know what amazing, selfless, loving parents he has been blessed you!!


  7. Oh My - I am in complete AWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! GOD IS SO VERY GOOD!!!!!! The three of you are absolutely picture perfect!!!!!!!! WOW!!!!!!!

  8. My heart breaks for his birth parents. I can't imagine. We have no idea. BUT....WOW he definitely looks like he was made just for you. You are truly perfect together. Amazing!

  9. What a beautiful and perfect little boy God has given you. I get a gold star...only because your writing was captivating and it was so kind of you to share with us all that transpired! I DO believe something very unique occurred during your introduction to your son...perhaps he knew he was once again a desired child! God bless your sweet family!

  10. He is BEAUTIFUL!! So happy for you!

  11. God is so GOOD! What amazing pictures. Congratulations! Praying for a wonderful rest of your time there.
    Patty Lococo

  12. Got tears in my eyes seeing you with your sweet boy! COngrats! He is beautiful!

  13. <<>> Praise God! He is so beautiful.

  14. PRAISE THE LORD!!!! He is so beautiful and I cried through this post. Soon we will be meeting our little girl for the first time ("Mary" from RR) I am so thrilled for your family of 3!

    Ps. I get a gold star:)

  15. I almost cried watching that first video!! It is so precious that you have those moments documented; you can treasure them forever!

    My husband and I are also living in Wisconsin right now and you ARE missing some beautiful weather, but I am sure no weather (or pumpkins) can compare with that cutie!


  16. Hi Ashley! I know we don't know each other but my husband and I are also adopting. And our son "Aaron" is at the same orphanage! Thank you for sharing these amazing moments with your family! I loved it and am looking forward to reading more!:)

  17. Ashley!!! I have read and reread you post 1000x! He is so absolutely the most amazing, perfect tiny blessing on earth! The pictures of Carter with his Daddy are spectacular. What a beautiful family that our wonderful God has created! The story of Carters birth parents is heartbreaking but perfectly planned in Heaven making sure that Carter found his way to his family. Your 3 hearts became one on May, 30th 2008 and will be together always:) Love you guys!

  18. I dont even know what to say!!...He is so handsome!!...and I think he looks perfect in your and Jakes arms!...I tried to read your blog to Mandy but started bawling..Tears of Joy!..I am feeling the same overwhelming emotions that you feel when I looked into my boys' eyes for the first time!....God has truly blessed all of you!..CONGRATS MOMMY and DADDY!!
    Love always

  19. I have never seen such beautiful pictures of Carter with both his Mommy and Daddy. He is a precious child. No dry eyes over here in WI. Enjoy every moment, and also prepare yourselves for leaving (if indeed you have to) That will not be easy. Many prayers. Thank you SO much for sharing!

  20. What a beautiful family! Praise God! :)

  21. I have tears in my eyes seeing this! What a beautiful day and it truly does look like you were meant for each other. Sending lots of prayers your way that the rest of your time there will go well.


  22. Oh Ashley,

    God sure is amazing. I believe as well that Carter knew you. Look at those pictures how he seemed to take to both of you. So precious touching your face, your wedding ring, the looks he gives each of you. I am so crying here. I am so happy for both of you. How awesome it was that you were able to hold him, love on him and he was ok with it.
    Sure hope I get to meet him someday.

  23. P.S. Can't wait to show Rella the pictures tomorrow. We all have been praying and talking about you a lot lately. Moreso me and Rella as boys did not know you as well.

  24. Rebekah says: "Carter is cute! And when you get home (to your apt), don't forget to Skype with us." (She said that this AM.)

    Isaac says: "I want to Skype with you."

    Elijah says:

    Anna says: "Awwww....he's SOOO cute!" :-)

    And I say...WOW!!!! SOOO incredibly beautiful!!! Yes, I was a blubbering mess too. Tearing up again as I just re-read it. Praise the Lord for answering your prayers! I can tell too by the pictures that "something" was going on - something only ordained by God. GOD IS SOOO GOOD!!! AWESOME! And what beautiful pictures too. Love all of them, esp. the "ugly cry" one. :-)

    And wow, what a blessing he had being home with his mama for those 3 1/2 months. Not only for physical nourishment instead of whatever blechy formula he would have gotten in the orphanage, but also for laying the foundation for attachment. What a gift!

    I really do hope you get to meet his parents. I can't remember if we talked much about us meeting E's parents, but it was one of the most difficult things about our trip. (The most difficult thing was leaving the others behind...) E's parents continued to visit him until he left though. It is truly, truly a blessing to have them in our lives now.

    He actually reminds me a bit of Jonathan, but obviously much older. But the pudgy cheeks and the stoic look...I have a feeling he will warm up a lot quicker than J did though. :-)

    Wow...I have so much more I want to say, but can't articulate it all now. :-) I'm just praising Jesus for his Goodness. (Oh, and sorry it took so long to comment today...took forever to upload E's video, then OT, baking cookies, football...yada yada yada) I was refreshing all morning and watching the counter going up on your blog. LOL Can't wait to see how your first visit goes! Love ya!

  25. I don't think I've ever commmented before, but I've been reading. What a touching post. I can't believe his birth parents had him for so long and were able to give him up. You are giving him such a amazing gift, I wish you all the best!!! xo

  26. He is BEAUTIFUL and the pictures of him with your husband....he looks SOOOO much like you guys!!! PERFECT match for you all!!! xoxoxoxoxo

  27. Waterworks. Yep. I'm bawling after reading this!!!

    This blog post was absolutely MAGICAL. He is beautiful! I did crack up through the tears watching Hubby tickling his tummy. :-D

    My daughter saw the pics and videos too and went, "Ohhhhh! Look at that beautiful little BABY!!!!" So happy for you guys!!! ♥

  28. My friends and I visited an orphanage last Wednesday to make little children happy and we met there lots of special children (but we call them little angels). Upon knowing them and their stories, it really breaks our heart how some of them got abandoned by their parents. I'm so happy there are people like you who have a big heart! God bless you and your family.

    P.S. He's really adorable! I hope he's doing well now. :)


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