Oh Me of Little Faith

This is a post I wrote last night.  I had to wait to post it until today, because I had to be sure that I wasn't dreaming.  Because this is definately a post I never expected to write.

Never.

Oh me of little faith.

Teeny, tiny faith.

As most of us know, Carter's country was supposed to close their adoption department temporarily - starting July 11th - for up to 3 months.

We've been praying like crazy that God would move mountains.  It's been hard.  Really hard.  Harder than I thought.  We knew this was possible when we first committed to Carter through Reece's Rainbow.  So it was no surprise when we received the email that delivered the dreaded news.

But even without the 'shock factor' - it's been tough.  There are days we wondered if his country really would reopen - or if it would be one of those countries that just never does.

So we've been praying that God would do what He does.  That He would show up, just like He loves to do.

Did He ever show up.

Carter's country will NOT stop special needs adoptions.

At all.

Oh.my.word.

I didn't realize how much the close was affecting me, until today.

God showed up.

Oh me of little faith.

I said to Jake in the car last week "It just seems futile.  Futile to ask the God of the universe to move in a country thousands of miles away, for our sake.  It seems crazy that He would hear little-old-me praying for a big-huge-country.  Futile.".

Not futile, apparently.

God heard our prayers - all of our prayers - and He showed up.  He showed up & showed off.  His power, his love for the fatherless, his care for his children....don't you love when God shows up?

I have to be totally honest here.  After all - why blog our journey if I'm going to fudge reality, exaggerate a bit here & there, and try to look like something I'm not?  I'm not going to lie...my faith has surprised me  over the past few weeks.

And I've been disappointed in my lack of it.

Life has been really, really good for Jake & I.  God has blessed us so richly.  Not because of anything we've done - but just because He's poured out His blessings.  Life has been so good that I've forgotten how hard it is to praise Him when things are tough.  It's really difficult, isn't it?  It's difficult to say "Lord - You know better - so I'm thanking You for what You're doing.  Yes - I'm struggling.  Yes - I'm hurting.  Yes - my face is tear-stained and my fists are sore from pounding on Your door.  But I know You hear me - and I'm praising You for being You."

Really hard.

Have you all seen 'Facing the Giants'?  If not - rent it.  There is a line in the movie that Jake and I quote to each other  -  'Praise Him when we win, Praise Him when we lose'.

It's so easy to praise Him when we're winning.  But praising Him when we lose?  Ouch.  That hurts a bit.  This process has taught me a lot about praising Him when I'm losing miserably.






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So where are we?  Phew.  I'm not sure.  I guess we're back at traveling in September.  That's coming quick.

We've got some documents that still need to be notarized - approved by our helper in Carter's country - and apostilled.  Then we're just waiting for USCIS approval.

Wow.  I love it when God shows up.  And I love it when He hangs back, too.  Because He's good.  He's sovereign.  He's God, and I am so, so not.


One Thing I Know For Sure:  We're coming buddy!!  As fast as we can!!!  Maybe you'll be my 27th birthday gift (on September 30th!).