Thursday, July 28, 2011

Boo Hoo.

The emotions of this process have really messed with me.

I'm not an emotional person.  It takes a lot for me to cry.  I'm not sure why - I've just never been a cryer.

I've said it before & I'll say it again...this process has totally messed with me.  Because I've turned in to the sappiest, most emotional person.  I roll my eyes at myself a lot....I've turned in to one of 'those' people.

The beginning phases of this process kicked it off.  Just after committing to Carter, I was the most emotional.  Every song, every smile from one of my preschoolers, every verse I read...would bring me to tears.

Then the paperwork came on heavy.  I didn't have time to be emotional.  In fact, now that I look back, I didn't really even have time to think about Carter.  I feel awful saying that now - but I was in this GI Jane - get-it-done NOW mode.  My focus was on all those signatures - notaries - the benefit - and now...well...all of that is done.  And my focus has turned back to Carter.

I will probably be with Carter on my 27th birthday (September 30th!).  Amazing.

Of course, with my focus off of all the paperwork, and back on to what matters...the emotions are back.  In full force.

Just thought you'd like to know.

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I've talked before on this blog about the people that we've met throughout this process.  It's really amazing. People who were total strangers 4 months ago, we now consider friends.  Friends of ours...and friends of Carter's.

Carter doesn't know it, but he has friends.  Lots of them.

Today, we got something in the mail from one of his friends.


Carter's First Backpack!!



Stacy - LOVE IT!  It's totally adorable...and it reminds us that we're so close to packing our bags and bringing that boy home.  Thank you for loving Carter.  Thanks for being his friend.

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I had a post written.  Then I deleted it.  Then I rewrote it.  Then I deleted it again.

It stinks that not everyone embraces this.  People that we thought really loved us...but haven't offered one word of love or encouragement.  People that we thought cared about us...but haven't even asked us how the process is going.  Totally stinks.

What else stinks...is that those people are so absorbed living their own lives, that they're not even reading this.  So my writing this serves no purpose then...right?  I guess.

Finding out who our true friends are.  It stinks.

That's the written-deleted-rewritten-deleted post in a nutshell.  I probably already gave it more space than it deserved.

Sorry.

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Updated homestudy update....  :)

We've gotten a hold of the right people with our agency, and they're working on an addendum for our homestudy, which will also serve as a document that our USCIS case worker requested.  Two birds, people!  Love it when it works that way!

So....be on the lookout for the 'golden ticket' post!!  It shouldn't be long!!

One Thing I Know For Sure:  I was with the infants today.  I'm totally pooped (and may or may not be pooped on......).  And I have a shoot tonight (if the rain holds off!).  So I'm out of creative, catchy things to say.  This is all you get today :)

7 comments:

  1. Welcome to the "club" of "those people" that are emotional. I welcome the company! :-) So glad to hear you got a hold of the right people for the HS. Hopefully it will be quick.

    I get the part that "stinks" too. Trust me I do...it was the worse the second time around. :-( But I get it...it's hard to be supportive of a family (member) stepping out in faith to add their seventh child...I mean really...7 kids - that's a little ridiculous, don't you think? Sigh...

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  2. I'm sorry if I have been one of those so wrapped up in themselves....I haven't seen your blog for several weeks, it doesn't want to load on my computer at work. I love the backpack, that is so cool. Just know that I love all of you and I can't wait for my grandson!!!

    Mom

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  3. If you ever want to vent or talk I am only a email, webpage, facebook page away. I understand about how others just do not seem to get it. My family more so than anyone else. When we told everyone we wanted to adopt a baby with down syndrome my family stopped talking to us. You are doing a good thing, you are making a difference, not just for Carter, but one that will enrich the lives of everyone around him. Know that you have us as friends and we are here with you every step of the way. I may not always post, but I always read :)

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  4. I'm reading too!!!! And feeling just about everything you are!!! So you are not alone. I know you have tons of support, so try not to let the ones who aren't responding get you down. It does hurt, I know. We've been there too. A lot of people just don't get what life is about. I've been so amazed at such a young age what you and Jake are doing with your lives. You two are "old souls" who are on a very special journey. I have a feeling it is only the beginning:) And yes, the crying and emotions... oh my, get used to it.
    Kids will do that to you!!! Just know you are feeling things really too deep for words.

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  5. Just saw your comment about the baby's room bedding :) That is just too funny! See, when I first saw Carter, one of the things that captured my eye was his RR name Antonio. That was my paw-paw's (grandpa) name. I was SO happy when I saw that you had found him and he was now going to have a family! We had already decided that we would use Antonio as a middle name for any little boy we ever adopt so finding out that not only did we both fall in love with "Antonio" Carter we both looked at the same baby bedding! Small world :)

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  6. Oh Ash I love when people cross over to the other side and join us emotional ones :)

    And I am so sorry that people aren't supporting who should be. The person I am closest to in life just keeps telling me she doesn't understand and doesn't agree. I've asked her at least 10 times to watch the video of him and she acts like she doesn't hear me or starts doing something else. UGGHHHHH....so frustrating and so hard when they don't get it!

    Oh and I love that backpack....so cute!

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  7. Ashley I am so glad you love the backpack and consider me a friend! I do love your little boy and am so happy that God chose you and Jake to be his parents! You will both be amazing at it.. actually already are... I hope that one day when you bring Carter home that I can meet him and you! I am so blessed to be apart of your journey.. and by the way as I write this I am crying too..
    Stacy

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