Tuesday, October 11, 2011

What A Difference A Week Makes...

A week ago today, I couldn't wait to get home.  It was the day before our SDA appointment, and while I was excited to start the process and meet our boy, I was also so - so ready to pack up and fly home.

Last night, however, was such a different story.  In the course of one week...In the course of 5 visits...In the course of just 9 hours with our boy, we are dreading the thought of leaving.

Absolutely dreading it.

We were talking about whether this is really best for Carter.  He's met us.  He's started to attach to us.  Will he forget us while we're gone?  Will he feel abandoned again - after only a few visits?

I hate this.

As of right now, we plan to fly home either Thursday or Friday.  This may sound soon to some of you.  You may not be familiar with the process in this region.  It takes much longer here than in other regions.  Our court date will likely be 2-4 weeks from now.  After court, we will have a 10 day wait.  That's 10 business days.  So technically, that could be a 14 day wait.  Then, we will have up to 2 weeks of paper chasing.  That would make the next trip up to 4 weeks.

Which means the next trip might actually be two trips.  We might come back for 4-5 days during court, and then go home for the 10 day wait.

Hate this.

But, the reality is that it's just not feasible for us to be here the whole time.

We knew this going into it - and while you may be surprised at the length of our first trip, we are not.

We're just surprised by our emotions.  We didn't think we would be this torn.  We want so badly to stay.  But if we did...it could turn in to one 7-9 week trip.  Too long.

There is another option - I could stay here by myself, and Jake could go home.  I know - some of you have done this.  You are better women than I!  I hate staying home alone - even if Jake is gone for the weekend.  I can't imagine being here for weeks by myself.  Riding the metro - alone.  Walking to the orphanage - alone.  I just can't do it.  Please don't fault me for it.


We got word around noon today that we're not able to visit him this afternoon, either.  So - that's three visits missed.  They said we don't need to call tomorrow - we can just come.  So he must be doing a little better if they're confident he'll be okay tomorrow.

That's another thing that makes leaving so hard - we've missed so many visits.  It seems like we've hardly spent time with him.  And now we're just going to leave?!

This is just the nature of adoption.  Unpredictable.  Emotionally exhausting.  The ups and downs are incredible.  A week ago, I never thought I'd be wanting to stay longer.  It's amazing what this little boy has done to our hearts.  Amazing.


Please pray for our boy, that he'd be physically healed - and that he wouldn't notice a void when we leave.

Because we'll notice a void.  For sure.


Tomorrow, our case will be submitted to the court.  This means that we could know our court date tomorrow after we're submitted.  We would love to know our court date before we leave on Thurs/Fri.  It would make leaving so much easier if we knew when we'd be returning.

It also means that we'll be assigned to our judge tomorrow.  Recently, case assignments in this country were switched to a 'computer generated' system.  That means that we can't try to get the adoption friendly judges - we just get whoever we're assigned to.  Obviously, we're praying that we'll get an adoption friendly judge that has a wildly open schedule :)

One Thing I Know For Sure: Missing our boy, today.


  1. As I read your post, what keeps going through my mind is this:
    Jeremiah 29:11:
    For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
    Aren't you thankful for those truths!!!!!

    I love you AND I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!

  2. Aidan knew me after a 6 week absence, and he was only a baby. I truly believe Carter will know and remember you when you return. If you can leave behind an article of clothing from both you and Jake. It will have your scent on it. Ask the nanny's to keep it in Carter's crib. Also leave a picture book if your able so he can see pictures of both of you. Whisper to him over and over you'll be back. He'll know. Leaving just means you're one step closer to bringing him home. Strength! I know where you both get it from! Many prayers for all 3 of you.

  3. We will be praying for your hearts and the heart of your little boy! I certainly do NOT fault you at all for not being able to stay in a completely foreign country all by yourself for weeks at a time. I know I couldn't do it! God will strengthen you all during this time, and little Carter will be home before you know it!


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