Monday, October 31, 2011

My best bud...

Not all little boys can say that they had parents that loved them unconditionally as the grew toward maturity.  Well, I can say that I did, with great affirmation.  Even after smashing the door of my dad's prized Toyota pickup, or snipping some hair off of mom's classic 50's and 60's Barbie Dolls, they still loved me.  With out a doubt, they loved me.  

I can remember some great things from my childhood.  I remember Dad stopping home at lunch when we lived on Central St. and we would watch Mr. Rogers.  I remember naps with Mom before she would had to work 2nd shift at Mercy Hospital.  I was very young when these things happened but I remember them.  They have impacted me. One of the fondest things about my childhood was my dad always saying the simple phrase, "You're my best bud!"

When he said it I would say it back with an excited response.  He said it a lot, so I know he meant it.  It was special for me.  To this day he still says it. I love it.  I sit here and wonder if he knew how those few words have molded me into the man God intended me to be.  Just a few words that meant the world to one little boy.  This little boy.

Never in a million years did I think this would be the way I would enter fatherhood.  I mean, not adoption.  Definitely not a special needs adoption.  As I have written here before and told others in conversation, God changed my heart.  When I thought "that just isn't for me" He thought differently.  My wife did not nag, beg or plead with me.  This very important as to why this whole thing worked out.  She just prayed, and I finally realized that this life isn't about me.  Its not about piling high all that I can.  Not about climbing the preverbal ladder.  Its about doing what God intend me to do.  Most of that has to do with seeing my parents follow and obey God's plan for their lives.

I was lucky to have parents that realized the kind of guts it takes to follow where God leads.  I just want to say thanks to them for showing me how to be a good parent.  Had I not had their example I would be so freaked about being a dad, but I'm not.  I am prepared because of their example.

I am more than excited to be Carter's daddy.  I have already told him that I can't wait for him to catch his first Walleye or Bluegill or maybe even a Musky (maybe he will catch one before uncle Ben).  I can't wait until he learns how to raise his hands to signal a Packers touchdown. I can't wait for him to go to sunday school or Awana and make new friends.  So many"firsts" I can't wait for.

Part of me can't even wrap my mind around the fact that I am father.  What judge would grant me permission to take ownership of this little guy?  So many faults and flaws but perfect enough to care for Carter, "my best bud."  I plan on continuing the heritage of that phrase with my boys and girls.  They will know that I love them unconditionally.

One Thing I know For Sure: "Carter, you're my best bud!"  


  1. My sweet sweet son...Dad and I marvel at how in spite of our failures as and Ben have grown into wonderful men of God. Clearly God's protection and hand has been upon you for a long long time. Remember B.J. Bradley's letter? Thank you for your beautiful words today. I am both laughing and crying at the same time. Laughing in the memory of that truck door swinging open and hitting dad...and his having to crawl over from the passenger side to the driver's side to drive the car....Remembering those sweet sweet memories of napping together..we would fall asleep holding hands...staying with you in the hospital when you had your appendix out...I was the only one you allowed to give you the pain medication injections..and you would cry each time and say it wasn't fair..yet you only trusted me...Remembering the game we played of who loved who more..Remembering the first time I met your sweet Ashley...all those years ago at your 16th birthday party..I somehow knew then she would be my beloved daughter in love. Your post today is something I will read over and over again until it is etched deeply in my mind. Your words are beautiful and bring great honor to us as parents. Thank you thank you thank you!! Some day my sweet man, Carter will know and understand just how far you came to get him. He already feels your unconditional can see it in his face....and he has already been introduced to Jesus..through your unconditional love!! You are a courageous man of God!!! I love you infinitely!!! (By the way..the picture today of you and your best bud is my absolute favorite. I have it saved as my screen savor!!)

  2. OHHHHHHHH and no worries about the barbie doll were forgiven long ago.. BUT...maybe just maybe...had she still been in mint condition...she would have brought in the entire funds for the adoption at some antique road show!!! ;-)

  3. Jake and Ashley, I have been following along for quite some time now. I can't even express the joy I feel for your family. Your relationship is so strong and I have always admired you as a young couple. You just don't see that as often anymore. You guys are amazing people and these blogs bring tears to my eyes. They are so awesome it makes me feel as if I am there with you. Your hearts are so huge and Carter is such a blessed little man. I am cheering and praying from afar for you and just keep in mind... I'm right down the street if you ever need a sitter sometime! ;)

    Love, Tiffany P.

    P.S. I mean it!!

  4. Love your post :)It is't very often that a dad writes his thoughts on the blogs, but I just wanted to say, your words could not have been more well spoken. Thank you!
    Love the picture of you and Carter!

  5. Debbie (and Dan),
    I still have not figured out how to respond and reply to the blog that the kids use each day. If possible, please try to share my comments and feelings with them if you can.

    One of the first things I do each morning is to read their blog. I am amazed by their comments and photos. Today was especially moving as I read Jake's message with tears in my eyes. You have raised two incredible children and Jake chose a rare jewel of a wife to share his life. For such young people, they have incredible insight and patience for the future with little Carter.

    I LOVE being able to share this experience with them via the blog. You must both be bursting your buttons with pride and love for them. I, too, can't wait to meet this special child with the beautiful smile.

    Please let them know that I love them and do pray for them too.

    Love, Lynda

    From Lynda Olsen..long time beloved friend!!

  6. I love love love LOVE this post!!!! I may not know you personally, but you sound like an amazing man!!! Praying for you and your family often!!! I can definitely see why a judge would give you custody of that little man!!!

  7. Beautiful Jake. Words any parent would love to hear.

  8. What a wondeful post, Jake. Reading your mom's comments made me cry (and laugh) even more. You are all truly, truly blessed. :-)

  9. Was a few days behind in reading your blog - and here I am playing catch up and all teary now over this post. Carter is one lucky man to have a Daddy like you, Jake. Just as much as you are blessed to call him your own. (I think I like your blog posts almost as much as Ashley's! *grin*)


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