Thursday, October 27, 2011

Da, Da, Da...

This morning's visit was another 2 hours spent on the couch, in the hallway.  But it was good...Carter was a super happy boy, and we had so much fun watching him laugh!

At the beginning of our visit, we wrote a note to the nannies and asked if we could watch Carter eat lunch after our visit.

"Da, da, da!" - which means 'yes, yes, yes'.  Call us crazy, but we took it literally.  More on this later.

When she brought Carter out to us, he came to me right away, and was laughing.  He took a few steps toward me, unassisted.  He's never done that (at least not in our presence) before!

We brought along a few of his clothes and shoes to see if they would fit.  We have been worried that the 24 mos/2T would be too small.  Well - we were wrong!  We brought a 24mos sweatshirt, and even over his layers it was slightly big.  This is good!  He'll grow into it soon, I'm sure.

We also tried some shoes, based on the outline that we made of his foot on our last trip.  We bought size 6 shoes....but they were a little big.  Should have gone with a 5 :)  But they'll work for now!

Hey guys - I really like these new shoes you got me!

I love to hug my mama!
Since he did so good taking a few steps toward me when the nanny brought him out, we decided to walk him around a bit, and see if he would do it again!

He LOVED walking back and forth from me to Jake - he just thought it was hilarious!  And he did a great job!

And of course, we spent lots of time enjoying this boy's laughter.  It's contagious!

After a little while, a nanny brought Carter a sweet croissant filled with...fig?  Or something.  At first, he showed some interest in taking it from me - he was definitely thinking about it.  But once we got it close to his mouth, he turned away.  He's just not ready to take it from us yet.  The level of trust isn't quite there yet.  And that's okay.  It's a work in progress...and it's moving at his pace...we're getting there :)

Which brings me to something I've been meaning to blog about, but just haven't done it yet.  Some of you have emailed and asked about Rachel being on this trip, and how it might affect our attachment and bonding with Carter.  Obviously the first days/weeks/months of attachment are vital in establishing a positive, successful parent-child relationship.  First let me say that we are cautious about how much time he spends on her lap or in her arms.  He sees her, he plays with her, he laughs with her, but it's usually from my lap. He has sat on her lap, he has been held by her - but it's only been for a minute or two.  She understands fully that the point of these visits is to work on US bonding with Carter.  She's along to spend time with him, yes - (amongst other reasons...!), but she gets that the visits are really about us getting to know Carter, and Carter becoming comfortable with us.  We're blessed that Rachel understands all of this, and is willing to cooperate!

With that being said, if you are coming after us - and are contemplating bringing an older child or adult helper - we would say that for us it has been a great fit.  It's probably not for every couple, but it works for us. Before you do this, be sure that you're compatible with this person.  I'm sure this trip would be long and miserable if we didn't mesh with Rachel.  Also, be sure that this person fully understands attachment and all that goes with it (only parents feed the child, only parents change the child, only parents meet the child's needs, only parents comfort the child when he's upset/crying, etc.) - at least for the first few weeks. So, if you're lucky enough to find someone who you think you could spend multiple weeks with (during some of the most emotional and stressful weeks of your life!) and who also understands adoption/attachment - then we say 'go for it'!

Anyhow...back to the visit :)

After our visit, we went back into the groupa and reminded the nanny that we were going to watch him eat lunch.  Remember, she said 'da, da, da'.  :)

Well she started going on & on in Russian.  She didn't seem too happy.  So we called Eugene to have him talk to her and translate.  He told us that she said it's a 'general rule' that nobody watch the children eat.

Hmm...that's funny.  2 hours ago, you said 'da, da, da'.  What changed?!  We're pretty sure the grumpy office lady made a visit to the groupa, and it probably came up in conversation.  I'm sure this office lady reminded the nanny of the 'general rule' - and that was that.

So - we left.  A little disappointed - but it is what it is!  We'll head back this afternoon for more fun!

One Thing I Know For Sure: It's soooo nap time now....


  1. What a little giggle box. I love it!

  2. Oh my goodness!!!!Love that giggling!!! What great walking too! Way to go Carter!

    Bummer about the lunch thing though...all I can say is on the weekend...different nannies...different rules. :-) Don't give up!

  3. oh I could listen to that giggle all day long....what a GREAT sound to start off my day! love ya guys!!!!


  4. All three of you have this new brightness to your smile - it is just AMAZING to witness!!!!!

  5. As Nana, I cry and laugh at every post. I just love how you describe everything in detail and how you are all feeling and absorbing all of this. Again, I am reminded of how proud I am of you and Jake. Give my grandson another kiss from NaNa!

  6. Oh Ashley, that's a bummer about lunch. When I got back to country after the 10 day wait, I went into Micah's room the first day back and they were eating. I peeked around the corner, walked in, and got him. They were NOT happy with me! They shooed us out. But what I saw in there was reason for them not to let us in. Small tables of four kids to each table, community bowl and spoon, with the nannies feeding (shoving food down) the kids: 3 year olds!!! Community food and drinks... not sanitary or healthy to say the least. We had to teach Micah how to use a spoon and fork; he had never tried one! He didn't know how to drink from a cup on his own either, sippy, straw, or otherwise. It was a learning experience, but he caught on very quickly. My best guess is they probably didn't want you to see this practice since it is definitely something that would not be okay in the States? Plus the kids get all riled up when a mama and papa come in and they forget what they're in there for. It was chaotic when I did that; oops, but I'm glad I did! :)


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