Hobby Lobby Emotions :)

Tonight was a very exciting night for me - a first-time-soon-to-be-mommy....

Tonight was prep night for Carter's birthday party!!

We're having a very small party this weekend for Carter's Birthday - just our parents & grandparents.

Tonight...after months of thinking about this party, I got to go get all the fun party supplies. 

So picture it - I'm in Hobby Lobby doing my thing.  I'm looking for the perfect napkins, the best tablecloths, the cutest cupcake liners - and I'm thinking 'noo...not those, they're too blue...'  and 'no way, I would never get those plates for my kids party...' - ha - I know what you're thinking...but I'm not crazy.

Now - let me backtrack to last night.  We had an issue with our homestudy.  I won't go into details, but we were ticked off  very concerned.  We were thinking that we may need to start a new homestudy with a different agency, or maybe get our lawyers involved.  Not fun stuff to be thinking about.  So - we just prayed..."Lord - you're going to have to work this out....and by the way, if You can do it within 24 hours, that would be great...!".  Ha.

20 hours later...it's all worked out. 
Go, God.  :)

Back to the story.

So I'm in Hobby Lobby - a bit emotional from the events of the last 24 hours (and the hormones from the paper pregnancy...!), and a song comes on in the store.  I really wish I could tell you what song it was - but I cannot remember for the life of me (again, the paper pregnancy...).  Anyhow - it was an old (from the 80's) worship song, and it totally touched my heart.  I am not a cry-er at all - but the tears started coming.  Glad the store was empty...!

I pull it together, and head for the scrapbooking stickers.  I just needed wanted a few for his party....and ended up looking at all of them that had anything to do with 'family' or 'home'  :)  As I'm looking, I'm seeing tons of stickers for 'grandpa' or 'grandma', and tons for 'mom', 'dad', 'sister/brother', even 'cousin'.  But something very important is missing.  'Uncle'.  How on earth are there no stickers for 'uncle'?  This is Hobby Lobby - there should be a stinkin' sticker for 'uncle'!! 

Then it hit me.


Uncles like Carter's 'Uncle Ben' do not exist. 


There is nobody like Uncle Ben.


Nobody.


Bring on the tears....


I pull it together...yet again...and I'm finally heading for the check out (with all my adorable party stuff!). 

Then I see myself.

I don't mean - like, I see myself in the mirror and my hair is sticking straight up....

I mean - I see myself, a year from now.

A sweet mommy, loving on her little girl while she waits patiently in the cart.  All I can see is the mommy, until she turns the cart.

And I notice the little sweetie has Down syndrome.

"Ashley - do NOT cry, you are at the checkout, there are people all around you - other people with Down syndrome do exist, seeing someone should not bring you to tears - stop this!!  DO NOT cry!!!"

Tears, again.



One Thing I Know For Sure:  I need to get a tshirt that says 'paper pregnant' if I'm going to continue to have outbreaks like this in public places....  :)