Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Daddy's Thoughts....

Wow! My Blog debut!  I feel at such a loss of words (I know, surprising for those of you that know me on a personal levelJ)

I guess I should start by introducing myself.  I am Jake, the husband of Ashley and the “soon to be dad” of our boy Carter Benjamin.  I am so excited about becoming a first time dad.  Never in my wildest or even craziest dreams did I think I would be a dad for the first time through adoption, let alone an international adoption, and even still to a 3 or 4 year old and even further a boy blessed with Down Syndrome.

So I guess I need to explain a bit why this seems so crazy.  I am a planner.  Six months ago my plan did not include adoption.  It did not include far away countries, and most certainly, undoubtedly did not include Down Syndrome.  Six months ago my plan did not even include children.  Period.  I knew I would be a dad at some point.  Just not right now, I had a lot important things to do, (fishing, hunting, vacationing, working, fishing, truck buying, did I mention fishing?) or so I thought.  Then Ashley got the idea that we should start having kids.  I thought, okay.  Maybe it is time.  Then a few weeks went by and she brought up this outrageous idea of adoption.  After picking my jaw up off the floor, I adamantly stomped politely said no, not now.  I knew that deep down in my heart we would adopt at some point in our life because of its important impact on Ashley’s life, but definitely not before having our own kids.  Ashley went further into her idea that maybe we should consider praying about a child from Reece’s Rainbow.  Again, I responded, no.  That was that.  After a few tears on Ash’s part and a final Hail Mary attempt at some discussion about the issue, there was no more to talk about - my mind was made up.

I would flip through the RR website from time to time while sitting at my desk, asking God to reveal if there was something he wanted me to know or do.  Nothing.  I don’t like to see my wife in anguish, so I tried, I really did, but nothing.  No feeling one way or the other.  I thought that is was “nice” what other families were doing but, nope, not this guy.  Again, the fishing thing. 

But then it happened.  One day I am doing my usual morning routine at the office: check email, read the online news paper, read the Birschbach’s blog, chat with some of my youth group kids, and quickly check out faces at RR.  Then, BAM.  It hit me.  I fell in love.  I had seen this face before, but it was different this time.  He was mine.  I can’t explain why one day “nothing” but the next - an overjoyed outpouring of fatherly emotion. THAT’S MY BOY! ANTONIO!  I finally realized that my life is not about me.  It is all about bringing glory to God - and bringing this boy home would be just that.  Not something “nice” or “commendable” but a sacrifice to care for this boy as my own, as Christ called us to do.

Fast forward to today, we are anxiously patiently waiting and walking through the process to bring our boy home.  I know that God works in mysterious ways, he did when he showed me my boy.  Months earlier Ashley had fallen in love with that same boy, a God thing!

I know there are folks out there that may have a resistant husband or family to the idea of adoption or even special needs adoption, but a bit of advice.....pray.  One of the most encouraging things to me was the fact that Ashley prayed and prayed, but never once pushed the issue with me.  She valued my thoughts but knew that if her desires were of God’s design, then I would come around at some point.  She trusted, trusted that God would reveal himself to me a very real way.  He did, and I am grateful.

One thing I know for sure: I can’t wait to teach my boy how to fish! 

- Jake


  1. Okay - I am a crying mess right now!!!!! The last statement is the BEST!!!!!! I can't wait to see your boy fish!!!!!!

  2. My sweet son...what can I say? You amaze me more then I can even begin to put into words. I am crying...at this very moment...over how good and how awesome the mighty God we serve is. I am so proud of you for being open and obedient to the Lord's calling. In my mind you are already a daddy...I love to hear you say "my boy Carter". Keep dreaming big dreams for him!!! I too can hardly wait to see my grandson fish!! What a celebration that will be. I love you Jake...


  3. What a great heartfelt post. :) I found your blog on RR's website of course. SO happy Carter has a family coming for him. My hubby thought the SAME exact thing you did about adoption. But I admit, I pushed him more to "at least look at the pictures" - every time I showed him pics, he'd just silently walk away. One day I brought up the kiddos with HIV and he saw Olivia - well, let's just say his heart changed and she has been home now 3 months. :)

  4. I think your boy already knows how to fish, sounds to me he hooked a big one. God bless you all.

  5. Oh you guys we are so excited for you!! Ben and you will have to take the boys out together. I can't wait for Caleb and Carter to be home!!!

  6. I blogged about this and linked back to your blog:)

  7. I tell all new parents the same thing - YOU know what's best for YOUR child. That's why God picked you to be his parents. Blessings to the 3 of you!

  8. love the daddy's posts! :)

    i have to say that i was one of those mommies who pushed a lot, so much that my husband was just saying NO because of my attitude.

    one day after getting a big discussion, i cried a lot and prayed and thats when God told me, that i needed to be patient, we will adopt, just needed to give my husband his space, his time, his own way of dealing with it. so that was it.

    i stopped telling my husband about RR, about stories I read, etc, and kept praying for his heart to change and see what I saw, I knew that he needed to understand WHY, until that they he felt it was charity, the whole rescuing thing didnt moved him. SO it was just time... when he understood we were ready, we were just praying to know if it was time or we should wait, and months later we got a call, we got the news of a girl with DS who was able to adoption, that whats it! our sign, what we were looking for. we were worried of $$ because we are in mexico. But God guide us to a girl right in our city.

  9. Thanks so much for sharing your heart, Jake! We do indeed serve an awesome God!!! I'm so happy for both all of you. :-)

  10. ok, i am crying! you wrote this post for me and my hubby of course didnt you? you must have done because it was perfect for where we are right now! love and hugs xxxx


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...