Wednesday, March 06, 2013

The Post I've Been Trying To Avoid.

I've been avoiding this place.

Some things are hard to say.  But they require saying.  So - all eloquence aside...

My dad passed away unexpectedly on Valentine's Day.  Hence, my absence here.


I spoke at the funeral service, and I talked about a childhood memory.

My dad banked his coins.  Every night after he came home, he'd empty his pockets of change (Remember the days of having change in your pockets?  Pre-debit cards?).  He'd toss the pennies into a big jar, and when the jar was full it would go on the top shelf of the closet.  Once he had several jars full, he'd cash them in.

Never say a penny isn't worth anything :)

To me, each of those pennies represented something.  A family meal.  A hard day at work.  A day on the boat or in the tree stand.  There were good days, and bad days.

Each day, he'd toss those pennies into his jar, and I wonder if he's satisfied with how they were spent.  I couldn't help but think about my New Years Eve post from 2011.  (read it - it's much more put-together  than this...).

And it makes me sit down - pull out the ledger - and review.  How have I been spending my pennies?

Here's what I know.  Forget about looking back at the end of my life.  I want to look back at the end of this week (and the next - and the next - and the next) and be satisfied with how I've spent my pennies.  When today is gone, it's gone.  We don't get do-overs.

The scrubbing of floors.  The wiping of noses.  The friendly phone call.   The way we do life is important.  Whether you know it or not - you're spending pennies all throughout your day.

Spend wisely, my friend.  Spend wisely.


I'm all out of words.  I've been putting this post off for 2 weeks, and now it's done - and at least this part of my life can take a big breath and move on.  

The other parts of my life - well, they're on hold for now. 

Those of you who have reached out to me - thank you.  People I've never laid eyes on - never wrapped my arms around.  Thank you.  You don't even know.  

One Thing I Know For Sure: Deep breath.  Moving on.


  1. Love ya, Ash. Continuing to pray for you.

  2. So sorry to hear this news. We will be praying for you.

  3. From one daughter who lost her father to another: I'm so sorry. I will be praying for you and your family as well.

  4. I am so sorry to hear about your father. I lost my dad last year, and there is a hole in my life that I didn't realize he was still filling. I guess no matter how old a girl gets, a Daddy holds a special place in her life. Please accept my sympathy and my prayer that each day will get easier.

  5. oh ashley Im so sorry to hear that news. Words will never take the pain away.
    No, ive not lost a parent but I have lost my younger sister 6 years ago and wonderful memories are all I have left for her children and mine. dont forget those beautiful memories with your dad. Write them down, record them,e tc...anything save these memories for your children and he will live on.
    hugs and prayers during this painful time

  6. Love you, friend. Praying for you.

  7. So sorry to hear about the loss of your dad.


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